The Life and Times of Andrew Law

La comedie, c'est finis.

It's been a while since my last post. Given the events over the last 2 months, and what I hope is our last physical move for many years, I can't blame myself for letting my blog go a bit stale.

Actually, I've been re-thinking this effort for quite some time now, as my blog, once both fresh, sassy and new - is looking more like the ravings of a mid-life curmudgeon than anything else.

It's been an interesting experiment though. Five years ago, I started the blog as a bit of a lark, with the intention of innocently recording some random thoughts and events in my life, while experimenting with the technologies supporting a new set of social networking and interaction across the world.

Since then, I've had some amazing reactions and feedback from friends, family, office acquaintances, and even complete strangers! These have included:

1. Old friends saying that on reading my blog, they laughed so hard they choked on their breakfast cereal.

2. Family telling me how much they enjoyed some of the pictures of our vacations together

3. Family forwarding some of my blog posts to other friends around the world - on some of my comments and raves.

4. Old friends referring to me as a pompous prick.

5. Strangers, calling me fat and telling me to get out of the country - and good riddance

6. Practical strangers, walking up to me at parties and yelling "Hey, I love your blog!"

7. Political enemies at work, forwarding blog entries to my manager

8. Neighbors, calling me up and threatening to sue me for "defamation of character" (This was my all time favorite).

I've learned a great many things during this little experiment:

1. Writing (good writing) is hard and takes a great deal of time and effort.

2. There are many, many people in the world who take anything they see on the Internet seriously - as if it were written by a professional. Even something as silly and amateur as my ridiculous blog.

3. Exposing bullies and nasty, rude people is a very satisfying experience. The pen, is indeed, mightier than the sword.

4. There are very few people in the world who have the intelligence and ability to write about ANY subject - and I a not one of them.

5. The best blogs are those which focus on one subject - for a long period of time.

6. In general, Women seem to more amenable to social networking on the Internet than men.

7. Once you stop paying your subscription fees to the "host" of your blog, all of your work, thoughts, dreams, and experiences are lost - forever.

From these lessons learned, I've decided to restart a different blog, on a particular set of subjects (I haven't decided yet).

I've also decided to start a written diary - for myself, which I'll keep in a book by my desk - with instructions to be burned on my death (or published depending on my degree of celebrity).

So keep watching - and keep the comments coming! I'll update my blog in the next few months with whatever initiative I decide to start.

Shoot the moon

Joy

I just finished the last paper for the last class of my Master's degree! I started the process of getting my Masters of Information Assurance from Norwich University about 2 years ago, and will 'walk' in June when I graduate.

I started the class with the objective of passing with a solid C+, and ended the course with a Solid A.

Genius - No.

Maturity and Time Management - No

Writing about what I do every day - Yes - which is why I chose this program.

Funny - the most valuable lesson I learned from obtaining a Masters is that everone is just as clueless as I am - so you might as well shoot for the moon - if you miss - you'll at least end up with the stars!

Rent

One of the things we didn't anticipate when moving to Victoria last year was the state of the rental market. As it turns out, Victoria is one of the toughest rental markets in North America, with extremely high competition due to a number of factors, including very high real estate prices, strict rules on setting up rental "suites" in your home, and lack of land for building apartment blocks.

As a result, there a 'wait-lists' for apartments, lines of people waiting for homes, and extremely high prices and low quality all around.

One other thing we discovered is that it's virtually impossible to rent when you are the proud owner of a very large, hairy, smelly golden retreiver!

There were times when we would call a land-lord and just MENTION a dog, and they practically hung up on us.

So last year, in an act of desperation and luck, we were able to find a house in an "out of the way" area, with a large garage, storage, and fenced back yard for the dog - which they didn't seem to have a problem with.

One of the 'compromises" we had to make, however, was the calibre of neighbors we had to live with, as is evident from a view of their back yard from our daughter's room (she leaves the drapes closed all day now). If you look in the distance - you can see the prison.

23 days until closing on our new house in Oak Bay!

positions

"There're only two positions to be in right now: cash, and fetal."

_{CNBC Analyst}

Wishing I was Tony Soprano

I'm sitting in a so called 'Red Carpet' club in the Denver International Airport. Supposedly, it's a place where 'professionals' go to have some quiet, relax, and possibly get some work done while waiting for their flights.

About 15 feet away from me is a loud mouthed moron, having an extended cell phone conversation with someone about his legal problems. He is  cursing at the other person on the phone, using 'the F word' constantly. Everyone in the room is trying to ignore him (including the small children coloring at one of the tables). 

Finally, a man behind me stands up and says 'Excuse me, can you watch the language".

The loud mouthed moron on the cell phone promptly flips the finger at the man behind me, and goes back to his cell phone conversation.

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Oddly enough, I run into morons like that ALL THE TIME during business travel.

Travel

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

Mark Twain

The only way to appreciate the United States is to leave it for a while.

Andrew Law

People I hate

I'm creating a new list which I will update from time to time. It's quite negative and cynical, but I still want to track it.

People I hate:

When you make a mistake or screw up, the people who find a way to let your manager know about it.

People who ask you how much you paid for something, and then proceed to tell you how you got ripped off.

People who ask me how much I get paid a year.

People who ask me what my monthly mortgage payment is.

People who cough during Operas.

People who drive down the "turns only" lane, and then cut in at the last second (I've done this, and then hated myself)

People who get onto a plane last, with enormous carry on luggage, and then expect everyone else to move their bags for them because there is not enough overhead space.

People who talk on cellphones incessantly.

People who put Amercian Flag bumper stickers on the back of their foreign cars.

People who litter

People who say "At the end of the day....."

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This is terrible - I could go on forever.

Perhaps I should work on a "people I admire" list

Changing everything

Every 10 years or so, a new type of technology comes along that makes me think "wow - this could really change everything".

I felt this way about the PC, mobile phones, the internet, and now "digital paper" - which is still in its infancy, but getting to the point that it will be available to the masses in the next few years (including students).

The Amazon "Kindle" was the first generation.

Here is link to the second generation, from a german company (plastic logic)

http://www.pdatoday.com/index.php/weblog/comments/plastic_logic_e_reader_hands_on/

It's actually a "disruptive technology" - much like the Internet was.

It could shape the lives of millions of people and many industries - for better and worse - depnding on your persepctive. It could also eliminate the need to cut down countless millions of trees every year.

Narcolepsy

The term narcolepsy derives from the French word narcolepsie created in 1880 by the French physician Jean-Baptiste-Édouard Gélineau (1859-1928) by combining the Greek narke numbness, stupor and lepsis attack, seizure.^[1]

Ever had someone fall asleep as you were talking to them (other than your 2 year old child , or 80 year old grand-parent)?

One thing you learn as an instructor or speaker is that people sometimes close their eyes during your presentation. This can be due to a number of factors, including lack of sleep the night before, the normal digestive process after lunch, narcolepsy, and, yes, extreme boredom with the speaker.

I've learned not to take this kind of thing personally, unless the whole room is sleeping (or cruising the Internet) in which case I might change the pace of the talk.

Having someone fall asleep right in front of you however (during a 1 hour meeting with 3 people) is something else entirely!

I was giving a management presentation today (after 3 weeks of prep work) and the executive (5 feet across the table), actually fell asleep right in front of me after about 20 minutes.

What is scary, is that this isn't the first time this has happened! It has occurred 3 times in my professional career, once during a 1:1 job interview while I was talking!!!

This could mean that I have a very soothing voice, am an inherently boring person, or that more people are narcoleptic than I realize!

White Christmas

Something strange has happenned here in Victoria - we received a little over 2 feet of snow in less than a week. According to records, this only happens about once every 40 or 50 years, as it mostly rains here.

So now, we are digging out from our white Christmas and getting back to work on our Canadian permanant residency status.

Bailout

From an interview with Steve Eisman by Michael Lewis.

“Long Beach Financial,” wrote Lewis, “was moving money out the door as fast as it could, few questions asked, in loans built to self-destruct. It specialized in asking homeowners with bad credit and no proof of income to put no money down and defer interest payments for as long as possible. In Bakersfield, Calif., a Mexican strawberry picker with an income of $14,000 and no English was lent every penny he needed to buy a house for $720,000.”

Eisman made millions shorting the financial services industry based on his knowledge of the way they were managing risk.

Friedman of the NYTimes sums it up best:

That’s how we got here — a near total breakdown of responsibility at every link in our financial chain, and now we either bail out the people who brought us here or risk a total systemic crash. These are the wages of our sins. I used to say our kids will pay dearly for this. But actually, it’s our problem. For the next few years we’re all going to be working harder for less money and fewer government services — if we’re lucky.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/26/opinion/26friedman.html?_r=1&em

 

Clearing

For the first time in many, many months, we decided to just get away for a weekend to clear our minds and forget about real estate, the stock market and the volatility of the Canadian exchange rate. I had two precious weekends away from school until my next (and final!) class was to start in    December, so we loaded up the van and headed over to the other side of the Island.

This time, we rented a place right on the beach in Tofino near the Pacific Rim National park - a great place to watch the storms. Walking on the rocks near Sunset point, I almost forgot about security frameworks for a few minutes and enjoyed life for a change. A good thing!

Illegal Immigration

This from the Manitoba Herald.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is
prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear
they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night. 'I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he said. 'The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.'

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 'A lot of these people are
not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontario border patrolman said. 'I
found one carload without a drop of drinking water.' They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing reeducation camps
in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny
evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing
the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy
cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and
Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. 'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many art history and English majors does one country need?'

A history lesson from my Dad:

 "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
 
Cicero , 55 BC

Space Elevator

Cool - space elevator.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/10/02/space.elevator/index.html

Big Rock Candy Mountains

We just ran down to the bank and transferred our life savings to our account here in Canada. Hopefully, the money will be there on Monday so the check will clear.

On days like this - it's a good idea to sing a little tune:

Big Rock Candy Mountains (Lyrics from BlueGrassLyrics)

One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning
Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains
So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees
Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Why (Part 3)

Well, it's just gotten a little to easy, as the US is such a big target right now. It seems that the rest of world (including Canada) is enjoying all of this, gloating over how much "better" their financial systems are. In reality, this is all very cyclical, only this cycle might last another 20-30 years.

The truth is, the US is a great country, with wonderful people who have become victims of a political system that is bought and paid for by corporate lobyists. One of the reasons for such a high level of volatility in the market recently, is due to the removal of laws regulating short selling or 'bear raids' against a particular company or market

Hank Paulson, the current Treasury secretary and former CEO of Goldman, was instrumental in the removal of such laws.

The answer to this mess lies not with a bailout, or a different administration - but a change in the way washington must disclose its operations, donors, and other transactions.

Perhaps, a little Canadian or even French government regulation would also help (OK - I couldn't resist)

Lost Faith (Part 2)

So now, we are actually loosing sleep over our 'safe' investments that we so wisely made in money market accounts and CDs over the last 6 months. We are actually considering tranferring everything to Canadian banks - but as they say - "As the US goes, Canada is sure to follow".

Monday maybe Black, when many normal Americans (like me) read the paper over the weekend and start to get really scared!

First rule of Sailing

The first rule of sailing: Physics always wins.

If you are on a small sailboat sitting on the right side, and you shift the main boom to the right, and then a strong wind comes along from the left - you WILL capsize - regardless of the design of the boat or size of the keel.

Perhaps this is a lesson that all first time sailors learn. I happened to learn it in a very heavy 5 knot current, in the 58 degree, 40 foot deep Strait of Juan Del Fuca.

Fortunately, my instructor rushed over in a power boat and gave me a crash course in how to right the boat (you put all of your weight on the keel) and then get back in (always from the stern). As luck (or fate) would have it, I was sailing solo tonight and had to do everything by myself.

Sounds simple - but as many people have learned the hard way, strong, cold currents, combined  with adrenaline, combined with heavy clothing, make what seems very simple - exceptionally difficult - especially if you are out of shape - like me.

The lesson was a good one but I can't imagine what many people would have done in the same situation. Even with a power whale boat close by - fatique and panic can, in many cases, turn those same situations very bad - very quickly. After just 3-4 minutes, I felt like I might have been in trouble before making one last effort to pull myself back into the boat.

So the second and third lesson in sailing: Always where a life jacket and never sail alone!

One positive note: Righting a boat that has capsized is a requirement for my level 1 sailing certificate -which I have now obtained. Now all I have to do is sail in a straight line for 90 meters without hitting anything and I get my level 2.

Lost Faith

When I was much younger, I learned about 'the olden days' and something called "The Great Depression". I saw the black and white pictures of people lined up for soup and thought about how dumb they all must have been to allow things to get so bad.

I was then taught about the resulting legislation, the strengthening of the Treasury, the creation of the Federal Reserve and, eventually, the SEC. Back then, I slept well at night knowing that these regulatory agencies and the lessons learned from that time would prevent any such catastrophe from repeating. We were much smarter than the people back in the '30s

Today, I learned about the collapse of the biggest insurance company in the world - AIG. Over 106,000 employees and a member of the DOW30 , rescued by the American taxpayer at a charge of 85 Billion dollars (for now). Countless billions of dollars in market value wiped out in just a few short weeks! Countless retirement funds and pensions gone - in an instant. Countless thousands of lives - ruined.

And this is just a piece of the pie when you add in Bear Sterns, Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, and dozens of other century old companies - previously evangelized as 'safe havens' by the mass of money managers and 'advisors' peddling their services around the world.

I heard that some of the 'old people' who lived through the great depression still kept soup and other canned goods in the basement until the day they died many decades later. Apparently, the experience of being close to starvation will do that kind of thing to people.

We personally lost tens of thousands of dollars during the Technology 'bubble burst' of early 2001 and then spent the next 5 years getting it back. Fortunately, many of our Assets are currently in Cash, money markets, CD's and bonds - primarily due to that experience. Our 401K was not so lucky, however, losing about 15% in the last year.

With this round, I think I've finally lost faith in 'the system'. When I see a company like AIG take on so much risk and then go under - its obvious to me that basic risk management and checks and balances have just gone out the window in most of corporate America (of which I am a part).

The impact of this week is going to make the Enron and WorldCom scandals look like peanuts and will impact financial markets for the next 20 years

Personally, I'm thinking about Soup cans in the basement. I just don't trust the system anymore.